Finally….I’m Not a Failure!!

I left uni unfinished, with 3 years of accountancy knowledge under my belt (Most of which, I knew, would drift away after a few months out of practice) and moved back to the city I SWORE I would never return to.

3 years later I’m writing this post.
Why? Well, I have finally come to the realisation that I am NOT a failure.
You might laugh or think “Silly girl, your SOOOO young”, “You have your whole life ahead of you” – Yes, in hindsight its easy to say this, but in reality, in MY eyes, I was the biggest disappointment to myself and my family.
I chose now to write about this situation because the more I come across articles about “Hitting Bottom” and “Finding Yourself” I have begun to realise that I went through something similar. Yes I know, people lose children, houses, spouses etc …(THAT IS HITTING BOTTOM don’t get me wrong) but I suppose I’m saying I went through a transitional period in life and thought, “Okay, the life you had planned just isn’t going to happen”…And that’s alright.
Once you accept this, once you sit yourself down and say “Lets just give it a go” ..the life you thought was grim and only a temporary solution, starts to turn around and things don’t seem so grey and dark. The funny thing is, you don’t even realise until waaaay after. I probably only realised this like 6 months ago. But things have turned around in the last year. Relationships, work, friends…things are looking good..
Something that I strongly believe is to try not to expect too much from yourself.
People always seem so quick to dismiss these feelings as something menial/trivial and not a big deal. But it is! The years from 18-24 are possibly the most important in your life, you start to become the person your mean’t to be.
I am by no means say that I am “Settling” . Luckily the job I had opened a window and I decided to jump through. I realise that taking this opportunity mean’t that I was committing myself to this company, to this city and a potential new career. But I am happy, for the first time since I got accepted into university have I felt like I was actually doing something with my life, that I felt I was good at.
I know I’m not the only person to have went through this. Maybe this could be read by recent graduates and be something to help them to understand why they feel angry, disappointed etc. A beacon of wisdom…who would have thought it!!
University was the best years of my life, and I wouldn’t have changed it for the world. But I am definitely now on track to being the person who I’m mean’t to be. Having decided to let go of my expectations of what I wanted my life to be like, I have actually found myself nestled in a pretty good set up.
My Rules to Live by:
  • Don’t have it all figured out! Chances are, reality will kick in and only 20% of what you think will happen, will happen. (Unless your Taylor Swift…She gets everything!
  • Don’t push everything away, opportunity will come in all forms so be open to all offers.
  • 50% of your friends will move away..FACT.  So keep in touch, surround yourself with people who keep you laughing. Organise drinks when you can, this is crucial! Reminiscing about old memories is the best…and wine makes it so much better!
  • Remember you are allowed to feel however your feeling. You will have good days and bad days. So immerse yourself in a good tv show, distract yourself from life. I still do this regularly. It helps me to take my mind off the rigmarole of daily life. (Im currently watching The Good Wife as I write this!!)
  • Plan trips regularly.. Work can be so tedious. I used to see endless pictures of people off on holiday every other month and it used to depress the life out of me. But you need to put your foot down. I have made a rule this year to travel at least thrice. You need plans to look forward to and you need to see the world!! You will think you can’t afford it but you can, flights can be so cheap and I swear by Air BnB! You can survive a few skint weekends to make way for an amazing european city break!
Amz x
p.s Follow Anna_e_hobbs on Instagram …. She has such beautiful calligraphy – Props for the feature picture.

One thought on “Finally….I’m Not a Failure!!

  1. Pingback: Shit happens… | cocolaroux

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